When I was a youth I had a lot of great church leaders. They taught me, led me, and believed in me.
Often I thought that their belief was misplaced. I wasn’t a bad girl but I certainly made a lot of shady choices.
Sometimes, as leaders are ought to do, they would write me a letter. The letter was often full of encouragement and a comment on the kind of person they thought I was.
Honestly, I would roll my eyes at these letters and think to myself, “They have no idea who I really am.”
In my opinion they knew the Sunday Krissi but they didn’t know the Monday through Saturday Krissi and as much as I tried to make the two the same there were more times than not that they were not the same two people.
I have spent this past weekend with the youth as a leader. They are a great group of kids and I have felt impressed to write each of them a letter and tell them how much I appreciate being their leader, how I believe in them, and a comment on how I believe they make our program better. Then my teenage brain reminds me how I felt about those letters.
Here I am 17 years past the time I was a youth and I finally understand that those leaders knew exactly who I was. They were not blind to the choices I made that were wrong. They understood the temptations I lived with and that I did not rise above every one of those temptations. They knew that there was another Krissi who made choices that would disappoint them.
However, they also knew that there was a Krissi who made good choices. Who tried to do the best she could and was striving to live on the correct path. I thought I fooled them all on Sunday but really they were just seeing the best parts of me.
They wanted me to know that the best part was pretty dang cool and they wanted to encourage me to be that best part every day of the week.
It has been a pretty humbling week for me. Not only have I had to face up to the fact that I am still capable of making fairly bad choices. I have spent time with the best parts of the youth.
They are an awesome group of kids and I wish above everything else that there were some way that they could understand that the best part of them is above the worse parts of them.
Although, here I am 17 years later still figuring it out.
Krissi
Often I thought that their belief was misplaced. I wasn’t a bad girl but I certainly made a lot of shady choices.
Sometimes, as leaders are ought to do, they would write me a letter. The letter was often full of encouragement and a comment on the kind of person they thought I was.
Honestly, I would roll my eyes at these letters and think to myself, “They have no idea who I really am.”
In my opinion they knew the Sunday Krissi but they didn’t know the Monday through Saturday Krissi and as much as I tried to make the two the same there were more times than not that they were not the same two people.
I have spent this past weekend with the youth as a leader. They are a great group of kids and I have felt impressed to write each of them a letter and tell them how much I appreciate being their leader, how I believe in them, and a comment on how I believe they make our program better. Then my teenage brain reminds me how I felt about those letters.
Here I am 17 years past the time I was a youth and I finally understand that those leaders knew exactly who I was. They were not blind to the choices I made that were wrong. They understood the temptations I lived with and that I did not rise above every one of those temptations. They knew that there was another Krissi who made choices that would disappoint them.
However, they also knew that there was a Krissi who made good choices. Who tried to do the best she could and was striving to live on the correct path. I thought I fooled them all on Sunday but really they were just seeing the best parts of me.
They wanted me to know that the best part was pretty dang cool and they wanted to encourage me to be that best part every day of the week.
It has been a pretty humbling week for me. Not only have I had to face up to the fact that I am still capable of making fairly bad choices. I have spent time with the best parts of the youth.
They are an awesome group of kids and I wish above everything else that there were some way that they could understand that the best part of them is above the worse parts of them.
Although, here I am 17 years later still figuring it out.
Krissi
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