Finding Krissi

I think that I am perfectly normal to have days where I feel picked on. Days where in the grand scheme of life I somehow was overlooked.  I believe that we all have moments like these.  However, what I find completely ironic is that these moments seem so much more dramatic and painful than everyday reality. The everyday reality is that most of us are blessed far and beyond what we choose to recognize. Why the human in us chooses to more fully recognize our challenges verses our blessings puzzles me. There must be some inner mechanism that strives for more. When that more is not fully recognized we find life unfair, unjust, and just down right right rotten. Why? In my own effort to more fully recognize how incredibly blessed my life is I have decided to go on a 24 hour fast from recognizing my challenges. Instead I plan on feasting on everyone of my blessings. For the next 24 hours in a small way I will recognize each of those blessings. 4:45 am, I get to sleep in...

"Haul out the holly; Put up the tree before my spirit falls again. Fill up the stocking, I may be rushing things, but deck the halls again now. For we need a little Christmas Right this very minute, Candles in the window, Carols at the spinet. Yes, we need a little Christmas Right this very minute. It hasn't snowed a single flurry, But Santa, dear, we're in a hurry; So climb down the chimney; Put up the brightest string of lights I've ever seen. Slice up the fruitcake; It's time we hung some tinsel on that evergreen bough. For I've grown a little leaner, Grown a little colder, Grown a little sadder, Grown a little older," Oh, how this song is speaking to my heart. Isn't it funny how songs can speak the feelings we find so hard to express.  The words "I've grown a little leaner, grown a little colder, grown a little sadder, and grown a little older,"  echoed through the car the other day and I almost laughed. Laughing has become an...

Every morning this summer I can be found in my garden. There is something about being in the garden, hands in the dirt, and laboring that gives me peace. It is almost like the more dirt I have on my hands the better I feel. Also, all the physical labor of gardening seems to open my mind and clear out the cob webs. I guess it is easier for me to see God's big picture when I am working in the garden. All of the details it takes to garden, to nurture, and  to make my yard beautiful relate easily to Heavenly Father's plan. For example, this morning I was thinking about weeds. Any gardner knows you spend the majority of time in your garden controlling weeds. No matter how much you mulch, pluck, and spray weeds are determined to return. I have a system for weeding. Everyday I walk down each flower bed and pluck out 25 weeds. You would think after almost a month of weeding I would eventually run out of weeds. I never run out! There is always 25 weeds for me to pluck in each flow...

Busy does not even begin to define my life. I'm like busy on a Rockstar with Monster chaser. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm coming or going.  Sometimes I suspect I'm like a dog chasing its own tail. Frankly, I'm somewhat amazed that I am able to get through every day with some level of sanity. Notice I said "some" sanity. This weekend the girls and I had the opportunity to attend "Time out for Women," and "Time out for Girls." It was amazing. Yes, my goal is to type the word "amazing" as frequently as possible. :) I learned so much, or relearned. Our human brains need constant reminders of the things that we already know but have to hear over and over and over.... Most of all I just had the chance to feel my spiritual cup and REMEMBER how important it is to feed out Spirit. Life is busy. There is really no other words to describe it but sometimes we just have to stop and let the Spirit talk to us. Yes, I shed some t...

Life has a funny way of speeding right by. One moment you are 16 years old carefree and responsible for only one person, YOURSELF!. The next minute you are the mother of an almost 16 year old and responsible for so many things that you can't begin to list them. I have been working on the feeling of being overwhelmed. My mom pointed out to me one day that I say, "I'm overwhelmed," ALOT! I thought about it and thought about it and thought about it and realized she was right. I do say I'm overwhelmed a lot. It was kind of funny because once I decided to quit feeling overwhelmed and just embrace the chaos that is my life I quit feeling overwhelmed. Life is crazy, it is busy, and as I said it is going by in a blink of an eye. Next time I blink I will probably be a grandma to a 16 year old. Insert big sigh! I love my life right now. This teacher gig is crazy! I have had four days off from my 27 monsters and today I actually found myself missing them. This mother o...

Lessons I learned this week. When you are looking to get your feelings hurt, you will get your feelings hurt. When you are looking to be offended, you will be offended. The universe is not mysterious. What we look for we will find! Twice this week I found myself in the position where two very distinct roads appeared in front of me. One was a road that was full of offense and one was a road without. The first happened at Back to School night. Obviously with any new job there comes a certain level of anticipation, anxiety, and stress. Meeting the parents of all my students was going to be a stressful night. I know that a lot of what a parent thinks about the teacher is based on those first few moments of back to school night. I was stressed, but at the same time excited. I’ve worked really hard getting ready for this night so sink or swim it was go time. Only go time started and none of my parents were showing up. I saw the other classrooms be...

I'm not even going to look to see when I last posted. I know it has been awhile. A long while. I have no excuses. Well I have a few. For example: We went to Cali for Easter. Spent some much needed time with family and friends. Celebrated the holiday  with a little frosting. After Easter I started applying and interviewing for jobs. Then.... Yup... So excited to be a third grade teacher next year at Quest Academy. Big smiles and grins! A few days after accepting the job it was my big day. It was an awesome day shared with my family, parents, in-laws, and the great people I travelled the road to my degree with. I still can't believe how fun it was to wear that silly hat. Before graduation Al performed in her last elementary school play. She played the part of Colonel Hathi in Jungle book. She was awesome of course. While watching Al's last performance my very cool friends gave me a graduation gift. A necklace that I wore on the day of gr...

The day you bring home your first bundle of joy you have figured out one or two facts. For me the first fact I figured out was I was in trouble. I really had only a very small clue what I was suppose to do with this wonderful little package. However, she was mine and sink or swim I had to figure it out. Fumbling here and there I began figure it out. As the other little ones came along I figured out more and more. I had a groove and a basic understanding of what made all these little people tick. I was comfortable in the life that had become my life.  After a little while I moved from comfortable to content. I believed that I had figured out this whole mother business and was going to make it through without any major fails. I was foolish in my belief that life was going to continue status quo. I was foolish in my belief that I had figured everything out. This morning my 13-year-old son and I were having a heart to heart. Well, more like I was yelling, once again and givin...

As of Thursday I have officially earned a Bachelors of Science in Elementary Education.  Yesterday I realized that it took me nearly 19 years to complete my first four years of college. After a moments reflection on this fact I realized I wouldn't change a thing. Over the past 19 years I met and married a wonderful man. Gave birth to four children. Stayed at home with my children. I have been a soccer coach, a cub scout leader, a pre-school aid, a PTA mom, a swim mom, a basketball, orchestra, dancing, singing mom. The list is long. All of those roles stacked up and led me in the direction I needed to go. It is kind funny how life has worked itself out. The next fun adventure is finding a job. I have refused to get uptight or worry about the when, where, and how's. All I can do is live each day and do my part. The rest will work itself out somehow. Meanwhile, for the time being I get to celebrate my accomplishment. Spend some much needed free time with my family. ...

Do you ever have moments where you slap your forehead and think, "DUH!"? Those moments when you think, "I have been here, I have done this, and I know this does not turn out good." Followed by the thought, "WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING?" I have those moments frequently. In fact the frequency of them is a little scary. I often wonder if at some point in my life I'm going to finally understand how to avoid those moments. Recently, I have become a little obsessed with the TV show, "The Big Bang Theory." Have you seen it? I think it is slightly awesome and have a secret desire to be Sheldon. One of my favorite phrases used in the show is, "The human experience." Sheldon is often confused by the human experience. I laugh at how he doesn't get it and how he struggles. Poor Sheldon. However, I often have my own forehead slapping duh moments and I can totally relate to Sheldon. Life is full of lessons. We as humans are never don...

Tomorrow is my first day of student teaching. A whole day in a classroom. I was able to do a few hours of observations last week so my nerves are calm. Now it is just a matter of becoming a full time working mom, minus the pay, for the next ten weeks. That has me a tiny bit nervous and worried how it will all work out. However, last week while I was in the class I was relaxed and ready for this adventure. I'm sure that I have some challenging days ahead, but I'm in the naive stage and I believe that everything is going to be perfect.  

Blogher is asking the question, "How do you plan to create happiness for yourself in 2012?" I love this question and before Blogher even asked I had spent a lot of time thinking about this question. Really, this is what this blog is about finding and creating happiness. What I have discovered over the past few years is happiness is something you have to create. Happiness just doesn't happen. If you are waiting around to feel happy you are probably going to be waiting for awhile. Feelings are funny because we ultimately choose how we are going to feel. Angry, sad, happy, joyful, blessed. Each one is a feeling we seek after and embrace. Don't get me wrong, sometimes life sneaks up on you and dumps a whole lot of not happy in your lap. Sad things happen, bad things happen, unfortunate things happen, things that make us mad happen. However, do we take those moments and foster those feelings, let them grow into something ugly, or do we reach for something bette...

First thing Tuesday morning I was scheduled to meet my student teaching class. Monday night I went to bed excited and a tad nervous. Then I spent the entire night tossing, turning, and working myself up. By the time my alarm went off Tuesday morning I had myself seriously worked up. I am talking walking on an electric wire worked up. The morning seemed to dissaper in a blink and it was time for me to leave. I can't really tell you exactly what I was thinking as I drove to the school. I know I was trying all kinds of positive thinking. Only for every positive statement I made a nasty little negative comment would sneak in. For example: Positive Thought! "Calm down you already met the teacher and she seemed really nice. You are going to be just fine." Negative Thought!! "Well at least you thought she was nice maybe she isn't really nice maybe she is going to be totally evil, and she was just on pain meds the first time you met!" Positive ...

I have no idea where to begin.  (A a picture of the changing seasons illustrates my life right now) Each time my life has changed I have always had an adjustment period. A period of time where everything settles down and a new routine develops.  However, lately the changes are coming at me so quickly I have yet to find that time to let life settle down.  Maybe life won't settle down.  Maybe all those times I complained about time moving quickly were nothing compared to how quickly life is going to change.  I don't know, but I do know life is good. So funny to say those words because as far as jobs and money goes things are still tight and a bit stressful. I want to give the economy a big kick in the butt, and while I'm at it let those people in Europe know it is time to figure it out! Maybe I might even decide to go and join those protesters at Wall Street. I don't know what the answer is but I sure wish things would get better. For real better!  ...

If you read this blog with any regularity you have probably noticed a couple of things. First, my post have become more and more erratic. Second, my children are growing up way to fast. Ironically, the second has more to do with the first than you would realize. From the time my children were little I was told that raising children would change from being physically demanding to mentally demanding. Of course like all young mothers you think those older than you know nothing. In your young mother head you can not imagine a different life then the one you are currently living. The days are long as you meet every single physical and mental need of your little ones. Your a mother, and you love the days of caring for, and taking care of your little ones. You love the hugs, and the little fingers that grab your hand. You love the art projects, first times, little shoes, and most of all you adore your little ones. The process of children growing up is inevitable. Those little fingers ...

Honestly, there are many things about me that I'm not to crazy about. I have a running list in my head of things that I ought to change. Also, I have a running list of things I ought not have done. I picture those list on long scrolls, if I was to ever let go, the paper would go on and on and on. Picking at myself is probably one of the most girly things I do. Women are famous for finding fault. We start with ourselves and we move outward. We find fault in our lives, husbands, kids, and . . . Well the list kind of just goes on from there. Ironically, our list of greatness is much (x1000) smaller. We don't take time to numerate all of the qualities that make us fantastic. I'm sure that the list exist it is just buried under all of those fault finding list. Sadly, I believe that this keeps our brains tuned into fault finding instead of great finding. (I just love when I make up phrases. :)) That is to say, instead of finding the greatness in every day, we look for and f...

Another week, another class with a teacher I'm not sure I'm going to survive. Well, more than likely I'm going to survive. Having a teacher that wants you to do hard things will not in fact kill you. This "teacher," feels that it is good to draw us out of our comfort zone. He asks impossible questions. Questions that our personal. I explained to him after class that frankly the answers to the questions were, "None of his business." I really did say this I was a little upset with him. So, the thing is the teacher is from Belgium. He is one of those super intelligent people. He has broken through the ceiling several times over his life. So in his, ever to be, not so humble opinion, there is no reason that we should not break through our own ceilings. But I like my ceiling. It is a very well constructed ceiling, it is perfect, and just exactly where I want it to be. Why should I break my perfect ceiling? According to "him," becau...

I have decided that I have officially entered a transition period. Transition periods lack excitement. However, transition periods are full of anticipation. Transition periods make me itchy, they stir up all kinds of icky, nervous, feelings. It has been awhile since I went through a major life transition. There have been a few, but the last major transition was the nine months before I became a mom. The whole nine months where you work, prepare, and wonder what is going to happen. Wonder what life is going to be like? Wonder if you really have what it takes to make it work? Then I became a mom and the whole wonder was over, and there was just day-to-day life. Oh, and the miracle of actually making it work. At least I think I (well, Brent and I) have made it work. I have four pretty great kids and most days I am pretty darn happy with this life I have. I will even go as far as to say I am pretty darn blessed. I looked up the word Grateful in the thesaurus and all of thos...

Oh my gosh! It is Wednesday and I am posting. Believe it or not but I miss ya guys when I'm not posting. I love your comments. Especially, my loyal commenters you make me laugh and feel grateful for this blogging world. I would promise to post more but ya'all know how that ends up. Today's post is all about a new house rule we have put in place. I have notice lately that I take life far to seriously. Yup, this is a new realization one that I have never noticed before (ya know I'm being sarcastic, right?). It is true, I rather paint than play. I really dislike amusement parks, and anytime I am doing anything that may seem fun, to the most of the world, I am thinking about what I should be doing. I do not enjoy the more light and frivolous side of the world. It works for me and lucky me it works for my hubby. So we paint walls and do yard work and avoid Disneyland. Shocking! The problem, I have noticed with taking life so seriously is I take EVERYTHING serio...

I have been thinking lately about how many good things have to happen before I say, "Life is good!" However, one little, tiny, itty bitty, bad thing happens and I am yelling, "Life Sucks!" I was also thinking about how many victories I have to accomplish before I feel good about myself. However, one mistake and I am down in the mud thinking, "I suck, I suck, I suck." It seems to me that the victories in my life have nothing over the mistakes.  The mistakes I make are the Heavy Weight Champ of my self esteem. Which is really stupid for a number of reasons. Number one: I will always make mistakes! Even when trying not to make mistakes I'm going to make mistakes. Mistake making is one of natures laws. Number two: If every mistake is equivalent to thirty or forty victories the scales will never be balanced. There is no way to stay that far ahead of my mistakes. Especially, given the fact that the balance is probably more like 100 victories to one m...