My oldest daughter has very cool hair. It is very, very curly. I’m talking tight, spiral, curly, curls. Back in the eighties we use to pay a lot of money to have her hair. Giant rod, perm curls and the end result was still not as cool as S.’s hair naturally.
Whenever, we go anywhere people comment on her hair. They always say the same two things.
“I love your hair!”
Followed with,
“You probably hate your hair and wish it was straight”
S. always says the same thing.
Nope, I love my hair, why would I want it straight?
She is truthfully baffled, she has asked me in the past. “I don’t have straight hair, I have curly hair, why would I want something I can’t have?”
I have tried to explain to her that a lot of people want what they can’t have. “But why?” she will ask.
It is an excellent question and one I still have been unable to explain to her understanding.
Why do we want what we can’t have?
Why can’t we be happy with what we have been given?
S.’s hair is unique. It really is not the kind of curl you see everyday. It is part of her and her personality. Currently, she is thinking of running for student council with the slogan, “Vote for Me! Because Curly Fries are more Fun!” She has even test marketed her slogan.
I asked if she was afraid someone would steal her campaign slogan. She laughed and said, “It only works for me. It doesn’t work for anyone else. At school I’m known as that one girl with curly hair.”
She’s right. It only works for her. So what if she decided she hated her hair and everyday smoothed and tamed it straight. She would be taking away her identity, being someone she wasn’t.
At times I’m amazed at what my children teach me. I have probably spent a good portion of my life wanting what I can’t have. Trying to be someone that I’m not. Causing more inner turmoil than was necessary.
One last story. When S. was little we were at the hairdresser and she was getting her haircut. Another patron came into the salon and looked at S. and said, "Her curl, that is the kind of perm I want."
The hairdresser looked at the patron and said, “I’m sorry sweetie God doesn’t work here.”
I loved that experience because it served to remind me that we are all unique individuals in God’s eyes and we should always be who He intended us to be and not try to imitate someone else.
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