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Pot Shot

I distinctly remember the first time I referred to teenagers as, "kids."

I remember pausing in the middle of the conversation turning to Brent and saying, "Since when did I get old enough to call a highschool student a kid?"

It was shocking and one of those memories that burned into permanency. A shocking realization that I was no longer a kid.

The other day someone was talking to me and asked if I knew who someone was. I replied I didn't know her name but I had seen her at the school and she was very young.

A couple hours later I kind of gasped in surprise at myself. When did I become old enough to refer to another mother as young?

She wasn't young in the sense she was a teenage mom. She was just young in the sense that she looked young and she was surrounded by a bunch of little ones.

I have to admit that this stage in my life keeps taking me by surprise. I keep thinking that I am still a young mother with all these little ones. Then I see a young mother with little ones and I realize, I'm not so young!

Then there are these moments of panic and as much as I hate to admit it depression. I'm not ready to move on to this next stage. I feel my claws in the ground but time just keeps dragging me forward.

I wish I was better at expressing this feeling. I also wish I could just get over whatever it is I'm going through and get on with it. I'm angry, annoyed, and ticked at MYSELF! The whole thing is getting a little ridiculous. I feel as if reality keeps taking pot shots at me and that it is going to keep happening until I wise up.

I am desperately trying to wise up and having little to zero success. I have to end this post because I'm just reminding myself how annoyed I am right now. Annoyed with growing, annoyed with finances, annoyed... Well I think you get the picture.

All I have to say is if someone as some advice ANY advice please help me out. I really have no idea how many pot shots I can take without totally loosing it.

Comments

Me, Myself and I said…
Working at a high school in my mid-20s quickly thrust me into "okay, I'm not a KID aaaaaaaaaaanymore - these youngin's are crazy. and stupid. I was NEVER that stupid! (riiiiight)."

I'm having those same revelations as you are, just a few steps behind (but not many steps). It helps that you take the steps first and then tell me where not to step so I don't fall through the staricase. I much prefer my wise friends to my unwise ones. I'm in that weird place I've talked about before - where I like being with the wise ones, but my little kids put me with the newbies - and I'm neither wise or a newbie - I'm just....here. Thanks for letting me hang with the cool kids.
Angie said…
Hey, I feel the same way! You know what REALLY bugs me? When the people working at the drive-thru call me ma'am. When did I go from "miss" to "ma'am"? I don't wanna be a ma'am. Just don't try to be respectful, nnnnnkay? It's annoying to those of us that wanna be called miss. :)

LOL - I found myself calling someone at church "very young" too. Sheesh. We really aren't so much older. Just wiser and lots more fun to go to dinner with.

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