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Scerred

First thing Tuesday morning I was scheduled to meet my student teaching class. Monday night I went to bed excited and a tad nervous.

Then I spent the entire night tossing, turning, and working myself up. By the time my alarm went off Tuesday morning I had myself seriously worked up. I am talking walking on an electric wire worked up.


The morning seemed to dissaper in a blink and it was time for me to leave. I can't really tell you exactly what I was thinking as I drove to the school. I know I was trying all kinds of positive thinking. Only for every positive statement I made a nasty little negative comment would sneak in.

For example:

Positive Thought!

"Calm down you already met the teacher and she seemed really nice. You are going to be just fine."

Negative Thought!!

"Well at least you thought she was nice maybe she isn't really nice maybe she is going to be totally evil, and she was just on pain meds the first time you met!"


Positive Thought!

"She wasn't on pain meds you are going to be just fine. This is a new adventure and you are going to do great."

Negative Thought!!

"Nope you are going to fall flat on your face and fail! Like BIG Time fail do you want to hear the 101 ways you are going to fail... #1."


About this time the positive thoughts disintegrated into the many reasons I was not going to succeed. Followed by the many reasons why I shouldn't even try. Followed by a giant nasty feeling in my stomach.


After getting to the school I walked to the office to check in. As I walked to the office I actually pictured myself as a giant chicken. In the course of a 15 minute drive I had become just that, a giant chicken. Totally afraid to take on and embrace my new adventure. I even considered the consequence of turning around going home and crawling back into bed.

The sky was falling, the sky was falling!


As I opened the door to the school I suddenly became determined. Chicken or not I was going to do this! I was going to do this with a smile! I was going to do this the best I know how! I marched to the office ready to take on the day and tell that negative voice where to go!!!


You want to know what happens when you tell that negative voice where to go? Do you want to know what happens when you put on your big girl pants? Do you want to know what happens when you are Brave?

The most awesome adventure begins.


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Comments

trpbeck said…
Love this post!! Reminds me of a journal entry I did in my undergrad program, where I used the 7 dwarfs. :) Keep that positive attitude!! It's exciting, fun, new, exhausting, scary but oh-so worth it!!!!

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