Skip to main content

Scerred

First thing Tuesday morning I was scheduled to meet my student teaching class. Monday night I went to bed excited and a tad nervous.

Then I spent the entire night tossing, turning, and working myself up. By the time my alarm went off Tuesday morning I had myself seriously worked up. I am talking walking on an electric wire worked up.


The morning seemed to dissaper in a blink and it was time for me to leave. I can't really tell you exactly what I was thinking as I drove to the school. I know I was trying all kinds of positive thinking. Only for every positive statement I made a nasty little negative comment would sneak in.

For example:

Positive Thought!

"Calm down you already met the teacher and she seemed really nice. You are going to be just fine."

Negative Thought!!

"Well at least you thought she was nice maybe she isn't really nice maybe she is going to be totally evil, and she was just on pain meds the first time you met!"


Positive Thought!

"She wasn't on pain meds you are going to be just fine. This is a new adventure and you are going to do great."

Negative Thought!!

"Nope you are going to fall flat on your face and fail! Like BIG Time fail do you want to hear the 101 ways you are going to fail... #1."


About this time the positive thoughts disintegrated into the many reasons I was not going to succeed. Followed by the many reasons why I shouldn't even try. Followed by a giant nasty feeling in my stomach.


After getting to the school I walked to the office to check in. As I walked to the office I actually pictured myself as a giant chicken. In the course of a 15 minute drive I had become just that, a giant chicken. Totally afraid to take on and embrace my new adventure. I even considered the consequence of turning around going home and crawling back into bed.

The sky was falling, the sky was falling!


As I opened the door to the school I suddenly became determined. Chicken or not I was going to do this! I was going to do this with a smile! I was going to do this the best I know how! I marched to the office ready to take on the day and tell that negative voice where to go!!!


You want to know what happens when you tell that negative voice where to go? Do you want to know what happens when you put on your big girl pants? Do you want to know what happens when you are Brave?

The most awesome adventure begins.


Signature

Comments

trpbeck said…
Love this post!! Reminds me of a journal entry I did in my undergrad program, where I used the 7 dwarfs. :) Keep that positive attitude!! It's exciting, fun, new, exhausting, scary but oh-so worth it!!!!

Popular posts from this blog

Our Christmas Letter

Each year I send out a Christmas letter and the one thing that frustrates me more then anything about the letter is that I can not include all the pictures I would like. That and Brent's rule that the letter has to fit on one side of one paper. I have gotten pretty clever with font size and margins to keep this rule. All you that have read this blog know that I am a sucker for pictures. So this year along with mailing out the letters I am going to post the letter with pictures. YAY ! So fun having your own blog to torture people anyway you want. Our Christmas cards were sent out on Monday so here in all it's digital glory is the letter again, this time with pictures. (Beginning of Letter) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! We hope that this letter finds you happy, healthy and enjoying the holiday season. If you are like us, it has been a little bit of a difficult year dealing with increasing prices and a budget that isn't quite stretching to meet every thing you want it to...

Fantasy Land

The writer of this blog is currently in fantasy land. Meaning there will be no post as she is to busy pretending that she is on the sunny, care free, warm beaches of Hawaii. Apparently she is also under the delusion she looks smoking hot in a bikini and can currently (in the world of fantasy) be found on the beaches of Oahu sporting a bikini top and a grass skirt. Further evidence of how deeply she has entered fantasy land includes some very cute natives making sure her umbrella drinks are full and sunblock applied. The only thing she would like to mention to those of you still dealing with the real world and the endless hours of kids and summer vacation. "The water here is perfect and the sunsets are to die for please feel free to join me."

Hip Hip Hurray, Tomorrow is PIE Day

Well in a little less then 24 hours I am going to have to reset this counter.  I can hardly believe that it says 30 days.  I have to tell you I never thought I would make it this many days I really thought I would have to reset it at some point in time. It has been a huge motivation for me knowing that you guys are watching the counter.  Also, knowing that even if you didn't catch me in the time allowed you would see that I punked.  That I didn't have the self control, not to eat sugar. Every time I would think of eating a goodie, I would think about reseting the clock.  I would wonder who was online, I would wonder if I would get caught, I would wonder who would catch me.  By the time I got through thinking about all of that I would decide the treat wasn't worth it. Another motivation has been my kids, who have said, "Mom you don't have to reset the counter no one would know."  I wanted them to see that  I could be honest and not do something I shouldn't ...