Finding Krissi

If there has been one and only one holiday tradition that I have been able to pull off each year it has been our holiday letter. As your cards far and wide have trickled in I have felt the increasing pressure to get the cards done. However, even with the increasing pressure I have yet to pull the cards out of the target bag, address them, stamp them, write the Christmas letter, and send them on the way. Perhaps this year we just call the Christmas Card an Epic Fail (well maybe "epic" is a little overkill). Although, I have vowed never to go completely virtual this year the ease, connivence, and the lack of time has forced our Christmas goings and comings to this poor neglected little blog. Proof  that I bought them and that they are still in the bag. On a side note: Dear Santa, Please send me more time. Sorry, back on track... This has been a pretty great year for our family. We have had lots of comings and goings. New experiences and fun times. Basically, ...

We have officially entered my absolute favorite time of year. I love Halloween. I count down the days to Halloween. The day of Halloween I'm absolutely giddy because.... the next day begins the holiday season. Ahh yes, I can year the dissenters right now yelling at the computer, "BUT what about Thanksgiving!" Sorry folks but I firmly believe that Thanksgiving is part of the holiday season. It is the day to say thank you, a day to relax, and a day to spend with family before the mountain of Holiday fa la la's begin. I love Thanksgiving a whole day dedicated to eating. It is a chubby girls favorite day. :) However, it does not hold the power to keep me from Christmas dreaming. With three teenagers in the house I am constantly reminded that the days of my whole family being together on Christmas are coming to an end. Soon Brent and I will have to share our children with other parents. Which is just one reason that I plan to suck up all the holiday cheer I can o...

Busy does not even begin to define my life. I'm like busy on a Rockstar with Monster chaser. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm coming or going.  Sometimes I suspect I'm like a dog chasing its own tail. Frankly, I'm somewhat amazed that I am able to get through every day with some level of sanity. Notice I said "some" sanity. This weekend the girls and I had the opportunity to attend "Time out for Women," and "Time out for Girls." It was amazing. Yes, my goal is to type the word "amazing" as frequently as possible. :) I learned so much, or relearned. Our human brains need constant reminders of the things that we already know but have to hear over and over and over.... Most of all I just had the chance to feel my spiritual cup and REMEMBER how important it is to feed out Spirit. Life is busy. There is really no other words to describe it but sometimes we just have to stop and let the Spirit talk to us. Yes, I shed some t...

Life has a funny way of speeding right by. One moment you are 16 years old carefree and responsible for only one person, YOURSELF!. The next minute you are the mother of an almost 16 year old and responsible for so many things that you can't begin to list them. I have been working on the feeling of being overwhelmed. My mom pointed out to me one day that I say, "I'm overwhelmed," ALOT! I thought about it and thought about it and thought about it and realized she was right. I do say I'm overwhelmed a lot. It was kind of funny because once I decided to quit feeling overwhelmed and just embrace the chaos that is my life I quit feeling overwhelmed. Life is crazy, it is busy, and as I said it is going by in a blink of an eye. Next time I blink I will probably be a grandma to a 16 year old. Insert big sigh! I love my life right now. This teacher gig is crazy! I have had four days off from my 27 monsters and today I actually found myself missing them. This mother o...

I miss blogging like for real blogging. Someday life will slow down, right?

Lessons I learned this week. When you are looking to get your feelings hurt, you will get your feelings hurt. When you are looking to be offended, you will be offended. The universe is not mysterious. What we look for we will find! Twice this week I found myself in the position where two very distinct roads appeared in front of me. One was a road that was full of offense and one was a road without. The first happened at Back to School night. Obviously with any new job there comes a certain level of anticipation, anxiety, and stress. Meeting the parents of all my students was going to be a stressful night. I know that a lot of what a parent thinks about the teacher is based on those first few moments of back to school night. I was stressed, but at the same time excited. I’ve worked really hard getting ready for this night so sink or swim it was go time. Only go time started and none of my parents were showing up. I saw the other classrooms be...

I should have titled yesterday's post "sleep." Today's post will be titled. Pencils, books, and Teachers oh yah!! My feelings about sleep are unchanged. However it is boring to complain about the same thing every day. 5:16 am Today is my first official day of full time employment in 17 years. The last time I worked a full time job I made 8.25 an hour. This gig is paying slightly more. :) 6:10 am Correction... The pass 17 years I have been a stay at home mom. The stay at home mom of four kids whom range in age, from oldest to youngest, 6 years and 9 days. This job technically qualified as full time and then some. The pay was priceless! 6:18 am I can't believe I feel the need to be politically correct on my own blog! 6:19 am I totally distracted myself from the fact that today is my first official day of my first official job in 17 years! Yikes!! 6:20 am I forgot to charge EVERYTHING, I spilled toothpaste on my shirt, I just stepped in a puddle of water,...

Why can't you wake up naturally and go to work when you want? I think the world would be a happier place if we could all sleep the hours are body wanted instead of the hours we are forced to. I'm pretty sure sleep is the answer to world peace. 5:30 am Watching the Biggest Loser at the gym on Netflix. I'm on season four. I don't like the new host. Who by now is the old host in real time. This show is depressing and inspiring. Weird! 7:00 am The US post office is threatening to go bankrupt. We live in a world that functions 24 hours. When I went to the post office to buy stamps they weren't open. Shouldn't they be open before traditional working hours? I'm sitting here writing and thinking open open open. 8:27 am Trying to find clothes for back to school. I can't wear jeans. I don't know how to buy an outfit and NOT buy jeans. The sales clerk is snotty. I'm frustrated and whenever I ask her for help she points and tells me to look over there....

I have one final week of summer. However, most of the week will be taken up making final preparations for the school year to begin. At times I am giddy with excitement as I think about teaching. At other times I feel sheer panic. I’m sure the year will be full of both excitement and pure panic! This summer has been full of fun and amazing experiences. The kids have been busy attending summer camps, band camps, orchestra, EFY, and youth conference. One of these days I will actually get the time to unload the pictures from the camera. Today my Young Women spoke in sacrament. They are awesome, amazing, and totally the best! It was  announced that next year the youth will be participating in Trek. Oh Boy! A week of living like a pioneer. Anyone got a bonnet I can borrow? It is amazing how the months have passed in a heartbeat. Now football has started and the school year is moments away. This year is going to be an exciting one. The kids are a...

You know what happens when you don't write. Writing becomes hard. Trying to put words in the right place and create sentences that make some kind of sense becomes hard. For almost 3 years I wrote a paper each and every week. Now my brain has turned to mush and writing is hard. Why does that happen?  I have all kinds of thoughts running through my head and trying to type them out is not working. I don't have writers block I have writers mushy brain. I'm a little frustrated! So here is what is going on... I'm preparing to start work.. I'm way excited... way scared... way nervous... and way happy. It is going to be strange working full time. I wonder how it will all work with my family. I'm a little nervous about H. switching schools and coming with me. What if I totally bite at being a teacher. Like seriously what if I suck? (I said "like" valley girl slang awesome!) My teenagers are getting big. I'm going to have a kid ...

I'm not even going to look to see when I last posted. I know it has been awhile. A long while. I have no excuses. Well I have a few. For example: We went to Cali for Easter. Spent some much needed time with family and friends. Celebrated the holiday  with a little frosting. After Easter I started applying and interviewing for jobs. Then.... Yup... So excited to be a third grade teacher next year at Quest Academy. Big smiles and grins! A few days after accepting the job it was my big day. It was an awesome day shared with my family, parents, in-laws, and the great people I travelled the road to my degree with. I still can't believe how fun it was to wear that silly hat. Before graduation Al performed in her last elementary school play. She played the part of Colonel Hathi in Jungle book. She was awesome of course. While watching Al's last performance my very cool friends gave me a graduation gift. A necklace that I wore on the day of gr...

The day you bring home your first bundle of joy you have figured out one or two facts. For me the first fact I figured out was I was in trouble. I really had only a very small clue what I was suppose to do with this wonderful little package. However, she was mine and sink or swim I had to figure it out. Fumbling here and there I began figure it out. As the other little ones came along I figured out more and more. I had a groove and a basic understanding of what made all these little people tick. I was comfortable in the life that had become my life.  After a little while I moved from comfortable to content. I believed that I had figured out this whole mother business and was going to make it through without any major fails. I was foolish in my belief that life was going to continue status quo. I was foolish in my belief that I had figured everything out. This morning my 13-year-old son and I were having a heart to heart. Well, more like I was yelling, once again and givin...

Alright.. get ready... I am about to complain about something I never complain about... are you ready? I have WAY too much time!!! I mean WAY!!! I need something to do, or all this waiting around is going to drive me crazy. What did I use to do with my time? Before school, before work, what did I do? Don't get me wrong I have things to do. Lots of things that can be attended to. However, my brain is in sedentary mode the pressure of, "too little time" is not all around me. The more time I have the less I seem to accomplish. The way less!!! I feel a little like lump... I need a schedule a routine. A reason to climb out of bed in the morning besides taking the kids to school.... Really what I need to do is limit my use of... it is a little annoying... Maybe, I need to find something for real to complain about. Happy Thursday everyone,

As of Thursday I have officially earned a Bachelors of Science in Elementary Education.  Yesterday I realized that it took me nearly 19 years to complete my first four years of college. After a moments reflection on this fact I realized I wouldn't change a thing. Over the past 19 years I met and married a wonderful man. Gave birth to four children. Stayed at home with my children. I have been a soccer coach, a cub scout leader, a pre-school aid, a PTA mom, a swim mom, a basketball, orchestra, dancing, singing mom. The list is long. All of those roles stacked up and led me in the direction I needed to go. It is kind funny how life has worked itself out. The next fun adventure is finding a job. I have refused to get uptight or worry about the when, where, and how's. All I can do is live each day and do my part. The rest will work itself out somehow. Meanwhile, for the time being I get to celebrate my accomplishment. Spend some much needed free time with my family. ...

I have exactly 15 minutes before I have to be up and getting ready. Today is the day, my very last day of Student Teaching. I would like to know where the last 10 weeks has gone? The weeks have passed in a blur of learning and fun. I can hardly believe that today is the last day. I knew it was coming but now it is here I'm not nearly as excited as I thought I would be. I'm on a roller coaster of emotions right now. It is going to be hard to say goodbye to the students. It is going to be really hard to say goodbye to teaching and my school. I'm trying not to dwell but I'm pretty sure today is going to be a tough one. Wish me luck!

Amazingly, today I am a mere week away from earning my Bachelor's degree and teaching license. Two and half years ago I set out on this journey and now it is coming to an end.  My thoughts and actions have pin pointed to this moment for so long. My vision has been focused acutely on this day. It feels a little strange to be here. Strange, happy, excited, and scared. All of the emotions are swirling around me like dandelion seeds. I had my final faculty evaluation last week. I turned in my last homework assignment. From this point forward everything is just paperwork and red tape. I would like to say that now is the time to celebrate, relax, and enjoy a little freedom. However, life is about forward motion and the time for new goals is now. Ideas for new goals are stacked up around me like toy blocks. I am narrowing down my options and deciding what goals need to take priority. Among, those many goals is to find a job! I can hardly wait to have my own classroom. The past n...

Student teaching, student teaching, student teaching, my whole life is wrapped around student teaching. All I can say is it has been awesome!  Yesterday on my way home I was thinking about how worried I was about student teaching. The list of concerns was long and at the very top of the list was the question, "what if I hate teaching?". Since then I have come to realize that I love teaching. I have also learned that when you are doing what you love you are filled to the brim with happiness. Follow your passion use to seem like cheesy statement. Now I know that when you find that thing that matches up with who you are life is full of potential. This journey has been amazing and I couldn't have done it without Brent. I have come to realize that he is essential to my life. He is literally my other half. He completes my life. Over the past six weeks he has taken on the roll of mom like a trooper. The house is clean, dinners made, and kids are taken care of. It ...

I am currently ignoring a very long to do list. A list, that no matter how many things I am able to check off as done, continues to grow. It is exciting and exhausting all at once. Today, I was asked by the Young Men's President how I was adjusting to my calling. I stopped for a second, thought, and started to laughing. I told him I have so much going on I haven't really thought about how I felt. Everyday is just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other and getting done everything that needs to be done. Not to say I haven't learned anything from my calling. I am learning lots and lots. In fact, here is a short list of some of the things I have learned. #1 People think that when you are the head of the organization you are at the top. I have learned that in truth you are at the bottom. The bad thing about being on bottom is all the crud runs down to you. All the negative feelings, complaints, injustices, and not fairs land on top of your head. Sometimes it ...

Do you ever have moments where you slap your forehead and think, "DUH!"? Those moments when you think, "I have been here, I have done this, and I know this does not turn out good." Followed by the thought, "WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING?" I have those moments frequently. In fact the frequency of them is a little scary. I often wonder if at some point in my life I'm going to finally understand how to avoid those moments. Recently, I have become a little obsessed with the TV show, "The Big Bang Theory." Have you seen it? I think it is slightly awesome and have a secret desire to be Sheldon. One of my favorite phrases used in the show is, "The human experience." Sheldon is often confused by the human experience. I laugh at how he doesn't get it and how he struggles. Poor Sheldon. However, I often have my own forehead slapping duh moments and I can totally relate to Sheldon. Life is full of lessons. We as humans are never don...

Yesterday I met with the person taking over my old job. I think he is going to do an awesome job. He seems like a very nice person and more than qualified for the job. My kids, (his kids :( ) are in excellent hands. That all being said I am trying to understand why I am so sad. I am thriving in my student teaching experience. Everything is going great. I am happy to be making this forward step. It is all very good! Yet, I feel sad. I'm not quite sure where to put my emotions. I'm thinking they need to be filed under, "pointless to feel this way."  Maybe, it is just normal to feel sad walking away from what you know. It is a little like how I felt when I realized I no longer had little people in my house. For a long time my heart felt sad and I just wanted my life with little people back. It was a little insulting that they all dared to grow up and become big. This post is kind of turning into a pour me post. I guess every now and then we have picked on mo...

After every Christmas I make myself a promise. I promise that next year will be different. Next year I will have a plan. Next year I won't try to do everything in December. Next year I will be prepared. Like I said every year I make this promise. Which means I have not followed through, yet. As I look forward to next Christmas I realize that, fingers crossed, I will be working full time as a teacher. I will have a daughter turning 16. I will have a son turning 14 and one turning 10. On top of Christmas!  Next Christmas season is going to be an event! Additionally, this year we worked hard to get presents mailed on time, sent them priority, and they still weren't delivered until after!!! Christmas. To say I was frustrated, stressed, and upset would be an understatement! Which brings me back to the promise I make every year! Next (this) year I will have a plan. Step one of, "Let's Fa La La without Stress." Make a plan. Step two, follow the p...

After a long day at "work," I'm still in what we will call the processing stage. Meaning, I don't really have an opinion about how all of this is working stuff is going. There was a lot of good points about today that I will be writing about soon. That is as soon as I am done processing the million things running through my head. A million little thoughts zinging around inside my brain, and I would be lying if I didn't admit to a doubt or two. Doubts are just kind of status quo for me. This is usually when I give myself the it is all going to be great lecture. I think I will get to that later. What I would like to talk about is the home and family. Returning to work has not been without its challenges. On one hand I have to be thankful that my husbands job slows down in January. WAY DOWN! I can't believe I am actually thankful for his lack of hours. However, it is helping as we make this transition. He has been super helpful, but no matter wh...

My youngest son is in our school district’s full time gifted and talented program. I should be honest and let you know that he is not gifted. He is however talented. I have been asked many times what the difference is between gifted and talented students. Gifted and talented are often thought of as the same thing, but they are not the same thing. A gifted student is gifted. They have strengths above average in one or more academic areas. Often gifted students don’t quite know how to be children. Their brains are on the go, they are thinking twice as fast as you and I, and they probably know twice as much as you and I. Probably even more. A gifted student will correct you when you’re wrong. A gifted student will struggle with what is considered normal behavior. Talented students like my little guy are usually bright. School is fun for them because it isn’t hard. When learning a new concept they will usually catch on pretty quick. Talented students get how to do school. They know h...

Tomorrow is my first day of student teaching. A whole day in a classroom. I was able to do a few hours of observations last week so my nerves are calm. Now it is just a matter of becoming a full time working mom, minus the pay, for the next ten weeks. That has me a tiny bit nervous and worried how it will all work out. However, last week while I was in the class I was relaxed and ready for this adventure. I'm sure that I have some challenging days ahead, but I'm in the naive stage and I believe that everything is going to be perfect.  

Blogher is asking the question, "How do you plan to create happiness for yourself in 2012?" I love this question and before Blogher even asked I had spent a lot of time thinking about this question. Really, this is what this blog is about finding and creating happiness. What I have discovered over the past few years is happiness is something you have to create. Happiness just doesn't happen. If you are waiting around to feel happy you are probably going to be waiting for awhile. Feelings are funny because we ultimately choose how we are going to feel. Angry, sad, happy, joyful, blessed. Each one is a feeling we seek after and embrace. Don't get me wrong, sometimes life sneaks up on you and dumps a whole lot of not happy in your lap. Sad things happen, bad things happen, unfortunate things happen, things that make us mad happen. However, do we take those moments and foster those feelings, let them grow into something ugly, or do we reach for something bette...

First thing Tuesday morning I was scheduled to meet my student teaching class. Monday night I went to bed excited and a tad nervous. Then I spent the entire night tossing, turning, and working myself up. By the time my alarm went off Tuesday morning I had myself seriously worked up. I am talking walking on an electric wire worked up. The morning seemed to dissaper in a blink and it was time for me to leave. I can't really tell you exactly what I was thinking as I drove to the school. I know I was trying all kinds of positive thinking. Only for every positive statement I made a nasty little negative comment would sneak in. For example: Positive Thought! "Calm down you already met the teacher and she seemed really nice. You are going to be just fine." Negative Thought!! "Well at least you thought she was nice maybe she isn't really nice maybe she is going to be totally evil, and she was just on pain meds the first time you met!" Positive ...

A few months ago I had the opportunity to attend a job hunting seminar. The women conducting the class was this tiny, little, spit fire, corporate, head hunter. She was kind of awesome and by the end of the class I was actually looking forward to job hunting. Crazy, right? One of the things that she shared with the group is that each morning she listens to music that lifts her up, gives her energy, and makes her ready to take on the day. She didn't share the songs she listens to because she wanted us to find on our own songs, or method of infusing our day with positive energy. However, she did mention that she could do a mean Tina Turner impersonation. Given a choice, music is going to be the method I turn to for a burst of happy energy. This morning, before leaving to  meet with my soon to be students, I was listening to my favorite Pandora station and the below song came on. It was a perfect song for the day. I wake up in the morning and it's 6 a clock. They ...