I saw this quote the other day and had to smile. It has been interesting finishing school at my age. I have had this feeling more than once that I am a little old, and finishing school is something I should have done a long time ago. Usually I remind myself that we all have our own paths to take in life. My path had me marry at 19 and become the mother of four beautiful rug rats by 27. Marriage and children defined me more than anything. I became more aware of my talents and abilities. I really didn't know who I was before I became a wife and mother. Waiting until now to finish my degree gave me time to figure out who I am. Well, at least to have a better idea of who I am. I love being in a classroom, I love learning, and I love helping others learn. My inner nerd does little happy dances every time I learn something new. Each person on this planet has their own God given talents. We have a responsibility to find our talents and to make the world a better place. How old you are wh...
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We are down to the last nine days of school. The kids can hardly wait as each day it gets a little bit harder to get them up and moving. I am down to my final eight classes in school. I just finished my first methods class and it kicked my can. Literally, by the time the class finished I was down and out with a nasty little virus. Probably a combination of class and the end of the year craziness. In the last month all of the kids activities have piled up like a snowy highway. One activity on top of another. What seemed manageable before May became insanity. Here is a quick run down of all that has been going on. H.'s current schedule includes baseball, soccer, and cub scouts. My, take life so seriously, little man wants his whole cub scout book done. Slowing him down is a little like slowing down Superman. Speaking of Superman anyone have any kryptonite I can borrow. Thankfully, soccer ended on Saturday. Although I have to admit I love watching the kid play. He puts a smile o...
Hi Ho Hi Ho it is off to the Gym I go! Three and half hours until my classroom is FULL of students. 4:47am I'm a little nervous. 4:48 am That's a lie I'm A LOT nervous. 4:48 am Nothing like a kick of endorphins to smooth over the nerves 6:00 am Yikes, the nerves are back! I got this. I got this! I got this! 8:00 am Do you know how much my kid rocks! H. Is changing schools and coming with me to work and he has such a good attitude about it. I'm a lucky girl totally blessed! 8:05am My students are coming in wish me luck! 8:15 am Wow!! 9:30 am Yikes!! 12:00 pm Survived! 3:00 pm Tired! 8:00 pm
I think that I am perfectly normal to have days where I feel picked on. Days where in the grand scheme of life I somehow was overlooked. I believe that we all have moments like these. However, what I find completely ironic is that these moments seem so much more dramatic and painful than everyday reality. The everyday reality is that most of us are blessed far and beyond what we choose to recognize. Why the human in us chooses to more fully recognize our challenges verses our blessings puzzles me. There must be some inner mechanism that strives for more. When that more is not fully recognized we find life unfair, unjust, and just down right right rotten. Why? In my own effort to more fully recognize how incredibly blessed my life is I have decided to go on a 24 hour fast from recognizing my challenges. Instead I plan on feasting on everyone of my blessings. For the next 24 hours in a small way I will recognize each of those blessings. 4:45 am, I get to sleep in...
Two weeks... It has been two weeks since I last sat down and wrote. I have lots of excuses some of them are actually pretty decent excuses. However, in the end that is all that they are is excuses. Mainly, I'm feeling that life is just a little too real right now. Since I last wrote my uncle passed away. He was this gentle giant of a man. He was always there for family and always had a zinger or two to make you smile. My heart broke for his family. It all seems just a little unfair. Life went on and before any of us could let the loss settle we lost our Great Uncle. Sometimes just sometimes you have to question the timing of these events. It is hard for me to share any of these events in any great detail. I have my grief but others have their grief and while I'm the kind of person to pound my feelings out on the keyboard and share with the world others are not. So I'm currently a little shell shocked. Definitely feeling a sense of gloom and definitely retreating...
I lied. I thought this post was going to be my big counseling "Ah Ha" moment, but then I realized I never told you WHY? I decided to start counseling. Maybe next week you will get the "Ah Ha" this week you get the Why. Why, we do things is a pretty big deal. In fact if you don't know WHY you are doing something it might be time to see a counselor yourself. From the outside my life looked like it was going pretty well. I had just finished my masters, I loved my job, my two oldest children were in college and progressing along, my two younger kids were doing great, and my marriage was what one would expect after 21 years. We like each other most days and somedays we aren't very fond of one another. You know totally normal. However, I was living on the edge. As if any moment the worse that could possibly happen was going to happen. Brent says I was touchy. I explained to my counselor I was like a field full of land minds. You were never quite sure where...
As I jump back into the blogging world I realize that I need to have some sort of schedule or routine. With a schedule this blog would have content delivered on a consistent schedule. A schedule you my reader(s) could depend on for your Krissi fix. I just made that up. It isn’t that great. I need a better line. This line of thought, (schedule, routine, consistency) lead me to my latest “project,” developing routines. I would like to say that it is the whole working mom gig that has caused my house to fall into a state of disrepair. Laundry, dishes, dirty toilets are all the result of me working a fulltime (plus) job. However, that would be a big fat lie! My type A personality has never really kicked into gear when it comes to cleaning, cooking, laundry, or home making stuff. I’ve tried! When the kids were little we did job charts, allowance, daily cleaning routines, and none of them worked. Well, they worked for a little bit of time, but eventually life would ...
I mentioned in a post that I started seeing a counselor. My decision to see a counselor didn't happen overnight. In fact I have toyed with the idea for several years. However, I always felt that going and seeing a counselor meant I was weak. That I didn't have the intelligence, will, or strength to figure out my own crap. This attitude quickly changed when my oldest son's life started to spiral out of control. Then there was no question whatever it took, no matter the cost, no matter the hits to my pride I was going to get him the help he needed. So he entered counseling. Let me be clear on this point. He was in counseling I was a parent working in tangent with the counselor. I was not in counseling. But my exposure to counseling significantly increased. Here is what I learned. Counselors aren't all great. Sometimes it takes a few different counselors to find a good fit. Counselors specialize (who knew? duh?) my son saw a counselor for teens. Counselors wil...
Everywhere I look I see the phrase, "New Year... New You!" As if 2017 has the power to produce a whole new me. A me that loves to eat well, exercise often, be a size 0, has unlimited patience for people, and the potential to achieve every dream (no matter how realistic or unrealistic those dreams may be). I know... I know... I currently sound like a major Debbie Downer. The evil wizard casting a curse on the magic of 2017. I promise, that is not my intent. Goals are good! Intentions, resolutions, dreams... all good stuff. Where I draw the line is "New You!" Why, may I ask, do you want a whole new you? I know that "me" has undergone a lot of growth in the past couple of decades. Me at 41 is almost an entirely different person than me at 21. However, at 41 I am not a new version of 21 year old Krissi. I have scars (physical and mental), I have knowledge, and I have experiences that make me the pretty spectacular 41 year old that you know and love, or d...
Ahh.. a new year. There is just something about a brand new year that fills me with hope. My brain buzzes with resolutions, goals, and possibilities. If your Facebook feed looks like mine than your friends and families are posting 2016 reflections and 2017 resolutions. Also, the sponsored adds are promising you a skinnier model like figure in only 3 short weeks. I just love those adds ( She says with extreme sarcasm) . All of which just adds to the anticipation and expectation of a new year. I haven't quite decided if resolutions are the devils work or not. I make them every year and as the long days of winter drag on they fall away. By February (sometimes March) I feel defeated. The negative self talk begins, and I am left in a worse place than I was before. Well!! This is year is different, I know no one has ever said that before, 2016 was a transition year for me. I gained a second adult child, I completed my masters, I lost a brother, I threw out my scale, I joined the bo...
If you are a teacher, mom, wife, and over worked there is no need to explain this picture. This little plastic tube is survival. It is chuck full of stuff. Yes, I said, "stuff" because I really don't want to know exactly what "stuff" is in my little friend. My little tube of Zipfizz keeps me zooming through the afternoon. Just incase you are wondering this is not a sponsored post. This is just a post about a girl who is in love with her caffeine. Furthermore, any teacher who tells you that they can make it through a Monday, without caffeine, is a liar. Teachers, moms, wives, and over worked all need a little zipp on Monday.
"Haul out the holly; Put up the tree before my spirit falls again. Fill up the stocking, I may be rushing things, but deck the halls again now. For we need a little Christmas Right this very minute, Candles in the window, Carols at the spinet. Yes, we need a little Christmas Right this very minute. It hasn't snowed a single flurry, But Santa, dear, we're in a hurry; So climb down the chimney; Put up the brightest string of lights I've ever seen. Slice up the fruitcake; It's time we hung some tinsel on that evergreen bough. For I've grown a little leaner, Grown a little colder, Grown a little sadder, Grown a little older," Oh, how this song is speaking to my heart. Isn't it funny how songs can speak the feelings we find so hard to express. The words "I've grown a little leaner, grown a little colder, grown a little sadder, and grown a little older," echoed through the car the other day and I almost laughed. Laughing has become an...
I'm currently sitting by an open window listening to the sounds of my youth. As a young girl I spent the summer weekends at my Grandma's cabin. The sun would break over the mountains and the world would come to life with the singing and chirping of the mountain birds, and the sound of the gentle lake waves slapping the beach. The crisp mountain air surrounded me and I would fill my lungs. I would wiggle in anticipation becuse in a matter of minutes I would be realeased. Released to the beach, the sand, and the water. I loved that freedom and the sunburns. Today, a few years later as I sit on that lake those young girls memories fill my thoughts. Life has certainly changed from those days. I don't think I will ever feel as free as I did at that time. The responsibilities of motherhood, of family, and life weigh heavy. It is a burden I don't have to fully carry, but my faith is weak and I have never shared my burdens well. However, mornings like today when I can f...
Every morning this summer I can be found in my garden. There is something about being in the garden, hands in the dirt, and laboring that gives me peace. It is almost like the more dirt I have on my hands the better I feel. Also, all the physical labor of gardening seems to open my mind and clear out the cob webs. I guess it is easier for me to see God's big picture when I am working in the garden. All of the details it takes to garden, to nurture, and to make my yard beautiful relate easily to Heavenly Father's plan. For example, this morning I was thinking about weeds. Any gardner knows you spend the majority of time in your garden controlling weeds. No matter how much you mulch, pluck, and spray weeds are determined to return. I have a system for weeding. Everyday I walk down each flower bed and pluck out 25 weeds. You would think after almost a month of weeding I would eventually run out of weeds. I never run out! There is always 25 weeds for me to pluck in each flow...
I have to say that I am loving our new church time. It seems to me that 11:00 is the perfect time to go to church. First, I get to sleep in. Since I am a 5am girl sleeping until 7 and staying cuddled under the covers until 8 is the perfect amount of time to feel indulged. Second, I actually had the time to indulge is some one on one time with Al. Al has the longest, thickest, most awesome hair. Which means that dealing with it on a day to day basis frustrates her to no end. She has become a pony tail, wrapped up in a bun girl! Indulgence for me is having the time to braid her most awesome hair. I don't get enough of those one on one peaceful moments. Third, I have time to sit and just type a few words. I need to do this. It is good for me it helps me focus on what is good and right in my life. Another thing I don't have the time to do. I have a whole list of New Years Resolutions. The number one thing on my list is to work on stress. It's a whole combination of ...
I have decided that I'm a lazy person. I spend every moment of my day trying to complete tasks so that I can lay around and do nothing. One of my greatest frustrations is a delay in completing tasks because it means a delay in being lazy. I am even going to go as far as to say one of the reasons this blog is dying a slow, and rather lingering death is because I'm lazy. My whole body moans and demands that I do nothing, including blogging. "Do Nothing, Do Nothing, Do Nothing," the little minions chant in my head. Only doing nothing lacks reward. I never ever get up from a day of nothing and think, "Ahhh that was a good day of nothing." Like everything in life there is a balance. A balance that I have yet to achieve. Every time I start to get close to that balance something, or someones knock that balance out from under me. Leading back to a life where I'm running around trying desperately to finish enough tasks so that I can do nothing. It...
An entire summer has come and gone. Tomorrow I return to work, and the rush of a new school year will fully engage. It has been an interesting summer. The lack of responsibility is not good for me. It has made me lazy. My long to-do list is still to long. I have nothing to blame it on except laziness. Apparently, if I do not have an immediate deadline I am pretty useless. The three older kiddos had an eventful summer; TREK, Girls Camp, High Adventure, EFY, swim lessons, working, and more tumbled on top of each other. H. had a summer of running, playing, and video games. I did manage one session of swim lessons. I think that he sometimes gets lost in the chaos of the older kids. I suppose it is one of the down falls to being the youngest. I need to do better! The best thing about this summer has been the time. We have spent time together as a family. We went to a concert, we sat at the dinner talking past dinner, we cooked a smore or two, and we ha...
Once upon a time there was a woman who had a blog. She loved her little blog and dutifully logged on and posted insightful, wonderfully written, post (hmm mmm this is my story quit giggling). Then her life started to get insanely busy. Then her life got even busier. Then her life was just completely out of control and her little blog died. It didn't die but the heart rate of the blog slowed so that only a random beep here and there could be found. Today she finds her life has slowed down and she has time to write on her little blog. However, where does one start? How do you bring a little blog back to full speed? She does not know. If you figured out that the she is actually me and the blog is actually this blog you win the prize. Although, I'm not quite sure what you have won. :) My admiration! My goal... (oh boy writing your goal means you actually have a plan. I do not have a plan so maybe I should just skip the whole, "My goal..." thing)... ...
I found this quote today. "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Viktor Frankl The minute I saw the name Viktor Frankl it took me back to my college philosophy class. Frankl's story is amazing. During World War II he was a prisoner in a concentration camp. He survived the concentration camp and went on to become an expert in psychology. The base of his therapy is Love. He believed in the power of love and choosing, yes choosing, to react positively to life's negative moments. He chose to forgive those who made him a prisoner, and he spent his life teaching people that Love is the most powerful healing force. I guess I just always loved that this man was saying forgive, be kind, let love heal. The above quote just reminded me today that we do have the power to choose our response. We can let life run us over, and we can fill our head...
I am home all alone. I mean there is no one here. No one hiding in their room. No one watching TV in the other room. No one popping in and out. I am alone. I am trying to remember the last time I was all alone. I can't remember! I honestly can not tell you the last time I was alone. I remember that I didn't really care for it too much. I remember the house being too quiet and feeling creepy. Tonight it just sounds blissfully quiet. Crickets chirping quiet. I almost hate to admit that I kind of like this alone thing. A time to let my brain melt a little bit and not be on call. Today was my work evaluation. SOOOOOO glad that it is over. I really like my job, and love the place I'm working, but can I tell you I'm racing towards burn out faster than you can say, well... "burnout!" I need spring break!!! NEEED!!! I also need some heat!!! If I can't get heat I need the smell of dirt, the promise of spring, and a few green plants. ...